How Cross-Cultural Parenting Shapes a Child's Ethnic Identity

JurnalPost.com - Imagine a child growing up in a family where the father is Batak and the mother is Javanese. Both parents bring experiences, habits, and cultural values that are not always identical. The father might be accustomed to expressing opinions directly, while the mother may prefer a more subtle, non-confrontational communication style.

These differences can be seen in daily life, ranging from how they speak, offer advice, and discipline the child, to how they establish family rules.

When the child is asked, "Where are you actually from?", the answer may not be as simple as others might imagine.

They grow up with two cultural backgrounds that are both integral parts of their life. However, how a child understands, accepts, and builds an identity from both cultures is heavily influenced by the family environment.

The phenomenon of families with different cultural backgrounds is not foreign in Indonesia. The diversity of ethnic groups, migration, urbanization, and inter-ethnic marriages allow children to grow up in environments that bring together various cultural values.

Similar situations can be found in migrant and immigrant families. Parents may maintain their original cultural values, while children learn new habits through school, peers, and their social environment.

In such conditions, parenting becomes one of the crucial factors influencing the development of a child's identity.

The way parents educate, set rules, show affection, and introduce culture can help children understand their origins while shaping their view of themselves.

Erik Erikson (1968), through his psychosocial development theory, explained that the search for identity is one of the most important developmental tasks, especially during adolescence.

At that stage, individuals begin to question who they are, what values they believe in, and which social groups they belong to.

These questions can become more complex when a child has more than one cultural background.

So, how do cultural differences between parents affect parenting styles, and what is the impact on the formation of a child's ethnic identity?

Parenting Cannot Be Separated from Culture

Parenting is the way parents guide, educate, set rules, and show affection to their children.

In developmental psychology, Diana Baumrind (1966) introduced three parenting styles that are widely used in studies of parent-child relationships.

First, authoritative parenting, which combines firmness with warmth. Parents set rules but still provide opportunities for the child to express opinions and understand the reasons behind those rules.

Second, authoritarian parenting, which emphasizes obedience to rules with relatively limited room for discussion.

Third, permissive parenting, which gives the child considerable freedom with looser controls or boundaries.

In various studies in North America and Europe, authoritative parenting is often associated with positive child development outcomes.

However, the application and interpretation of parenting styles are not always the same in every culture.

Ruth Chao (1994), through her research on parenting in Chinese families, showed that parental behavior that appears to emphasize discipline cannot always be understood using a direct Western parenting framework.

The concept of training in that cultural context may reflect the parents' responsibility to guide the child so they develop according to family values.

These findings show that parenting behavior needs to be understood based on the social and cultural context behind it.

Nevertheless, cultural differences are not an excuse to justify treatment that is harmful or detrimental to the child. Warmth, safety, and respect for the child's developmental needs remain essential aspects of parenting.

Individualism and Collectivism in Parenting

One approach to understanding cultural differences in parenting is the concept of individualism and collectivism.

Triandis (1995) and Hofstede (2001) discussed how cultural orientation can influence values, social relationships, and individual behavior.

In more individualistic-oriented cultures, independence, freedom of choice, and the ability to express personal opinions tend to receive significant attention.

Meanwhile, in more collectivist-oriented cultures, family relationships, group harmony, social obligations, and respect for parents are often important values.

However, these two orientations cannot be used to categorize all families absolutely.

In real life, a family can combine the value of independence with emotional closeness and responsibility toward the family.

Kağıtçıbaşı (2005) also developed the idea that independence and connectedness to the family do not have to be contradictory.

A child can be guided to make their own decisions while still maintaining a strong emotional bond with their parents.

For example, in one family, a child might be encouraged to explain their reasons when they disagree with a parental decision.

Meanwhile, in another family, expressing an opinion might emphasize the choice of words and attitude to maintain politeness.

Both approaches can be influenced by the experiences and values held by the parents.

Problems arise when these differences are not communicated well, causing the child to receive conflicting messages regarding the behavior expected of them.

How Is Ethnic Identity Formed in Children?

Ethnic identity is a part of social identity related to the feeling of belonging to an ethnic group, including the values, habits, and meanings attached to that membership.

Phinney (1990) explained that the development of ethnic identity involves a process of exploration, understanding, and feelings toward an individual's membership in a particular ethnic group.

This identity is not formed suddenly.

Children learn culture through daily experiences, social interactions, and the introduction process that takes place from an early age.

During adolescence, this process can become increasingly important because individuals begin to have the ability to reflect on their origins and their position in the social environment.

Umaña-Taylor and her colleagues (2014) also explained the development of ethnic and racial identity as an ongoing process that can change along with an individual's experiences.

One of the primary environments that plays a role in the formation of this identity is the family.

Hughes and her colleagues (2006) used the concept of ethnic-racial socialization to explain how parents introduce values, knowledge, and experiences related to ethnic or racial identity to their children.

In daily life, this process can take place through various simple activities.

Parents, for example, introduce local languages, tell stories about family origins, invite children to attend traditional events, or introduce traditional food from their home region.

Visits to the hometown can also be an important experience for children to understand their relationship with their extended family and cultural community.

In addition, parents can help children understand how to deal with stereotypes or unpleasant treatment that may be related to their ethnic background.

Thus, the formation of ethnic identity does not only occur through lessons about culture.

The way parents talk about family origins, show pride in traditions, and respect other groups also becomes part of the child's learning process.

When Two Cultures Meet in One Family

In families with parents from different cultural backgrounds, daily life can become a meeting space for various values and habits.

Differences may arise in terms of the language used at home, how to raise children, relationships with extended family, and the practice of certain traditions.

If managed through open communication, this diversity can enrich the child's experience.

However, if both parents maintain their respective views without mutual understanding, cultural differences also have the potential to cause conflict in parenting.

Berry (1997), through his study on acculturation, explained four strategies that can emerge when individuals or groups face cultural encounters.

These strategies include integration, assimilation, separation, and marginalization.

Integration describes the effort to maintain the original cultural identity while building relationships with other cultures.

Assimilation occurs when someone prioritizes the new culture and reduces their attachment to their original culture.

Separation describes the tendency to maintain the original culture while limiting involvement with other cultures.

Meanwhile, marginalization relates to the condition where an individual has a weak connection to both cultural groups.

This framework can help in understanding the dynamics of cross-cultural families, although acculturation strategies do not always take place in a simple form.

In a family, parents might choose to introduce two local languages at once or invite the child to follow traditions from both sides of the family.

However, there are also situations where one culture is more dominant, so the child has fewer opportunities to get to know the other culture.

For example, a child from a Minangkabau family who grows up in a Javanese community might use Javanese in daily interactions, while their parents continue to introduce the Minangkabau language and customs at home.

If both experiences are accepted well, the child has the opportunity to build positive relationships with both of their cultural backgrounds.

Conversely, when a child is constantly demanded to choose one identity, they have the potential to experience confusion or emotional pressure.

This is where the role of parents becomes important in explaining that having more than one cultural background is not something that should be contested.

The Impact of Parenting on a Child's Ethnic Identity

Parenting that is warm, open, and respects cultural diversity can support the development of a child's ethnic identity positively.

When parents introduce their respective cultures without demeaning other cultures, the child gains the opportunity to understand their origins with a greater sense of security.

Children can also learn that cultural differences are part of social life that does not always have to be a source of conflict.

These experiences have the potential to help children develop self-confidence, pride in their origins, and openness in interacting with people from different backgrounds.

However, there are several parenting conditions that can complicate the identity formation process.

One of them is when parents demean their partner's culture in front of the child.

In such situations, the child may feel that one part of their family identity is considered less valuable.

Other difficulties can arise when a child is forced to choose one culture and leave the other.

Such demands can cause feelings of guilt, especially if the child has a strong emotional bond with both sides of the family.

Inconsistency in parenting rules also has the potential to cause confusion.

For example, one parent expects the child to always express opinions openly, while the other parent considers such behavior a form of impoliteness.

Without adequate explanation, the child may struggle to understand the behavior expected of them.

In addition, a lack of communication regarding family culture can also leave the child with limited knowledge about their origins.

The challenge becomes greater when the child faces ridicule, prejudice, or stereotypes from the social environment but does not have a safe space to talk about those experiences.

Nevertheless, it is important to understand that families with different cultural backgrounds do not automatically cause identity problems.

Conversely, families with the same cultural background do not always guarantee positive identity development.

Darling and Steinberg (1993) emphasized the importance of understanding parenting in a broader context.

Child development is influenced by various factors, including family relationships, peers, school, social experiences, and the cultural environment.

Therefore, the relationship between parenting and ethnic identity is more accurately understood as a complex process rather than a cause-and-effect relationship that applies equally to all children.

Building Parenting that Respects Diversity

Parents from different cultural backgrounds need to build an understanding of the values they want to apply in parenting.

The initial step can be taken through communication between both parents.

They need to discuss family rules, ways to discipline the child, language use, and traditions they want to introduce.

Differences in views do not always have to be eliminated. Instead, through open communication, both parents can determine an approach that suits the child's developmental needs.

Another important thing is to avoid demeaning the partner's culture.

Children need to see that both family backgrounds have values worth respecting.

Cultural introduction can also be done through simple activities, such as cooking traditional food together, listening to family stories, using local languages, or attending cultural activities.

These activities provide real experiences that help children understand culture as part of daily life.

In addition, parents need to give children space to ask about the differences they find.

When a child questions family habits or feels confused about their identity, an open and non-judgmental response can help the understanding process.

Parents also need to support their children if they face stereotypes or discriminatory treatment.

Emotional support is important so that the child does not feel they have to hide one part of their identity to be accepted by the social environment.

In the school environment, teachers and counselors also have an equally important role.

Educators need to avoid the assumption that all children from a certain ethnic group have the same character or habits.

Schools should be an environment that provides space for children to get to know diversity, talk about cultural experiences, and develop an attitude of mutual respect.

With this approach, families and schools can work together to support healthier identity development.

Cultural Differences Can Be a Family Strength

Culture is an important part of family life. The values, habits, languages, and communication styles brought by parents help shape the child's experience as they grow and develop.

When two parents come from different cultures, the child has the opportunity to get to know more than one perspective on life.

These differences can be a wealth if managed through warm parenting, open communication, and mutual respect.

Conversely, unresolved conflicts, demeaning a partner's culture, or demands that the child choose one identity can cause pressure in their developmental process.

The point to emphasize is that cultural diversity in the family is not a problem that must be avoided by default.

The main issue lies in how parents build relationships, agree on parenting values, and provide opportunities for the child to understand themselves.

Children should not be forced to consider one part of their family background more valuable than the other.

They need to be given space to recognize, appreciate, and determine how these cultural experiences become part of their personal identity.

Ultimately, a child's ethnic identity is not only formed by where their parents come from, but also by how those cultures are introduced, appreciated, and lived out in family life.

This article is a conceptual review based on a number of theories and research in developmental psychology and cross-cultural psychology. Therefore, the conclusions presented cannot yet be considered an empirical picture of all inter-ethnic families in Indonesia.

Further research is needed to understand the experiences of children and adolescents from families with different cultural backgrounds more deeply.

Such research can be conducted through interviews, observations, or surveys that link parenting styles, cultural socialization, and ethnic identity development.

Thus, the understanding of cross-cultural parenting will not only depend on theories developed from the context of other societies, but will also increasingly reflect the real experiences of families in Indonesia.

Bibliography

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Berry, J. W. (1997). Immigration, acculturation, and adaptation. Applied Psychology, 46(1), 5–34.

Chao, R. K. (1994). Beyond parental control and authoritarian parenting style: Understanding Chinese parenting through the cultural notion of training. Child Development, 65(4), 1111–1119.

Darling, N., & Steinberg, L. (1993). Parenting style as context: An integrative model. Psychological Bulletin, 113(3), 487–496.

Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and Crisis. Norton.

Hofstede, G. (2001). Culture's Consequences (2nd ed.). Sage.

Hughes, D., Rodriguez, J., Smith, E. P., Johnson, D. J., Stevenson, H. C., & Spicer, P. (2006). Parents' ethnic-racial socialization practices: A review of research and directions for future study. Developmental Psychology, 42(5), 747–770.

Phinney, J. S. (1990). Ethnic identity in adolescents and adults: Review of research. Psychological Bulletin, 108(3), 499–514.

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Author Biography

Yanti Andriyani is a Master of Psychology student with an interest in multicultural psychology and the application of psychological science in society, particularly regarding the relationship between culture, parenting, and individual identity development.