JurnalPost.com — Marriage has long been viewed as a sacred bond holding a significant position in religious, social, and national life. Beyond being a part of social tradition, marriage is also linked to rights and obligations regulated through legal systems and population administration.
In Indonesia, the validity of marriage is regulated according to the laws of each religion and belief, as stated in the Marriage Law. Provisions regarding the registration of interfaith marriages were also tightened through the Supreme Court Circular Letter Number 2 of 2023.
For years, marriage was even considered one of the most important achievements in a person's life. Having a partner and building a family was often seen as a sign of maturity, success, and happiness.
However, this perspective is slowly changing, especially among Generation Z, or Gen Z.
For some young people, marriage is no longer a goal that must be achieved immediately after finishing education or securing a job. Instead, marriage has become a major decision that requires financial, mental, and emotional readiness.
This change is not just a topic of conversation on social media. Marriage registration data shows a decline over the last few years.
Based on data from the Ministry of Religious Affairs, the number of registered marriages was 1,705,348 in 2022, then decreased to 1,577,255 in 2023 and approximately 1.48 million in 2024. In 2025, the number increased slightly to 1,479,533.
These figures show that the downward trend lasted for quite some time before experiencing a slight change in 2025. However, marriage registration data cannot be used to conclude that all of Gen Z refuses to marry.
So, why are more young people reconsidering the decision to build a household?
Delaying Marriage Does Not Mean Avoiding Responsibility
Older generations sometimes view the decision to delay marriage as a sign of being unprepared to face responsibility.
Gen Z is often considered too picky, too focused on freedom, reluctant to live a hard life, or having standards for a partner that are too high.
In reality, these assessments do not always reflect the situation faced by young people today.
Research by Fiandini Rista Sekarsari (2025) in the Jurnal Ilmiah Muqoddimah reveals that Gen Z women who delay marriage still face various social stigmas.
Labels such as "old maid," "unsellable," and "too picky" are still frequently attached to women who are not married by a certain age.
Interestingly, this pressure is not always experienced by men with the same intensity. Men who delay marriage are often seen as building their careers or preparing their economic conditions, while women face questions regarding their age and marital status.
This situation shows that the decision to marry is still overshadowed by social standards that are not entirely equal.
In fact, delaying marriage does not mean someone is rejecting responsibility. For some young people, the decision is actually a form of responsibility toward their future.
They want to ensure that marriage is not just based on the desire to meet the expectations of family or society, but also on the readiness to live life together.
When Love Faces Economic Reality
One of the most logical reasons behind the decision to delay marriage is economic uncertainty.
Generation Z entered the workforce when competition for jobs became increasingly tight. Many young people face challenges such as limited job opportunities, income uncertainty, and high living costs.
These issues become more complicated when they have to prepare for housing costs, household needs, children's education, and various other long-term responsibilities.
For some young people, marriage is not just about loving someone. There are real needs that must be met once a life together begins.
The situation is even harder for those in the sandwich generationcategory, who must meet their personal needs while helping to support their parents or other family members.
In this situation, the decision to delay marriage is understandable.
They are not necessarily reluctant to commit, but rather worried about building a household before having sufficient economic capacity.
A Populix survey on Gen Z and millennial marriage planning also shows that age, marriage concepts, and budgets are aspects considered when preparing for family life.
This reinforces the view that marriage is now increasingly treated as a decision that requires careful planning.
For Gen Z, love may be the reason to be together. However, love alone is not always enough to pay for living expenses and face various household problems.
Trauma of Divorce and Fear of Choosing the Wrong Partner
Besides economic factors, emotional readiness is an important consideration in the decision to marry.
Some young people grew up witnessing household conflicts, parental arguments, divorce, or unhealthy relationships in their surroundings.
These experiences can shape the view that marriage does not always guarantee happiness.
The fear of choosing the wrong partner also grows when one understands that marriage involves two individuals with different backgrounds, characters, and habits.
In a long-term relationship, feelings of love must go hand-in-hand with the ability to communicate, manage conflict, respect personal boundaries, and resolve problems maturely.
Without such readiness, household life can become a source of emotional pressure.
Domestic violence (DV) is also an issue that affects perceptions of safety in marriage.
Although not all marriages are marked by violence, various victim experiences show that a relationship that should provide a sense of security can turn into a dangerous environment.
More concerningly, the issue of domestic violence is sometimes still considered a family disgrace that should be resolved privately.
Such views can make it difficult for victims to get protection and reinforce the concerns of some young people regarding married life.
Therefore, marriage readiness should not only be judged by age, job, or income, but also by the ability to build a healthy and mutually respectful relationship.
The “Marriage Is Scary” Phenomenon on Social Media
Fear of marriage is now increasingly discussed openly through social media.
The term marriage is scary has become an expression that describes young people's concerns about the risks of household life.
Stories about infidelity, divorce, violence, role inequality, and financial issues are easily found through various digital platforms.
Research by Kania Dewi Tirta and Sinta Nur Arifin (2025) titled Phenomenological Study: Marriage is Scary for Generation Z explains that social media plays a role in shaping young people's perceptions of marriage.
Exposure to negative experiences in relationships can increase concerns about long-term commitment.
However, social media also has two sides.
On one hand, stories about unhealthy relationships can be a lesson so that someone is more careful in choosing a partner.
On the other hand, constant exposure to negative experiences risks creating the assumption that every marriage will end with similar problems.
In fact, one person's household experience cannot be used as a comprehensive picture of married life.
Not all relationships end in divorce, and not all marriages are filled with conflict.
Therefore, Gen Z also needs to build a balanced view by distinguishing between individual experiences, reliable information, and the picture of life formed through social media algorithms.
Happiness No Longer Needs to be Proven by Marriage
Another change that is quite prominent is the growing attention Gen Z pays to self-development and independence.
Education, work, mental health, the freedom to make decisions, and the opportunity to pursue dreams are important parts of their lives.
For some women, financial independence also provides more space to determine the direction of life without having to rely entirely on a partner.
This condition makes marriage no longer viewed as the only path to a successful life.
Someone can experience happiness through family relationships, friendships, career achievements, social activities, or personal skill development.
Of course, this does not mean that marriage loses its value or meaning.
Marriage remains a valuable life choice for many people. However, the decision should be born from awareness and readiness, not merely social pressure.
In this context, the choice to delay or not marry cannot automatically be considered a moral decline.
Conversely, the phenomenon can reflect a change in how the younger generation understands responsibility, happiness, and human relationships.
Does the Decline in Marriage Threaten the Demographic Bonus?
The decision to marry is indeed personal, but changes in marriage patterns on a large scale can be related to population dynamics.
Delaying the age of marriage has the potential to affect when someone has children, especially in a society where most births occur within the bonds of marriage.
However, a decrease in the number of marriages cannot be directly equated with a decrease in the birth rate because both are influenced by various factors.
Data from the 2025 Inter-Census Population Survey (SUPAS) released by BPS shows that Indonesia's total fertility rate or total fertility rate (TFR) is at 2.13 children per woman.
This figure is already close to the population replacement level or replacement level, which is generally around 2.1.
At the same time, the percentage of the elderly population has reached 11.97 percent, indicating that Indonesia has entered an ageing population phase.
This change in age structure needs to be noted because it can affect the need for labor, health services, pension systems, and social protection in the long term.
If the birth rate continues to decline and the number of elderly people increases, Indonesia needs to prepare an economic system capable of adapting to demographic changes.
However, it is not appropriate for all the responsibility for these issues to be burdened onto Gen Z through pressure to marry immediately.
Demographic challenges should instead be answered with policies that strengthen family welfare, increase labor productivity, and provide future certainty for the younger generation.
The State Must Provide Solutions, Not Just Advice
Facing Gen Z's changing attitude toward marriage, the government and society cannot just provide moral appeals.
Advice on the importance of building a family needs to be accompanied by policies that make household life safer and more affordable.
The government needs to expand access to decent jobs, increase housing affordability, and strengthen social protection for young families.
The availability of affordable childcare or daycare facilities is also important so that working couples can still carry out their parenting responsibilities in a balanced way.
In addition, pre-marital education needs to provide more practical understanding regarding financial management, mental health, couple communication, role division, and conflict resolution.
Protection for victims of domestic violence must also be strengthened so that marriage truly becomes a relationship that provides a sense of security.
On the other hand, society needs to stop the habit of shaming individuals who are not married or single-shaming.
Questions about when to marry might be considered a form of concern. However, if delivered repeatedly without considering someone's condition, the question can turn into social pressure.
Everyone has a different life journey, readiness, and challenges. Therefore, the decision to marry should be respected as a choice that requires careful consideration.
Marriage is a Choice, Not a Race
Ultimately, the reluctance of some of Generation Z to marry immediately is not an issue that can be explained by just one reason.
Economic conditions, mental readiness, family experience, social pressure, and the influence of digital media are all interrelated in shaping their decisions.
Gen Z does not always hate marriage. Some actually want to ensure that the relationship they build has a strong foundation before stepping into a lifelong commitment.
They do not want to make marriage just a formality to meet the demands of age, family, or society.
Therefore, the phenomenon of delaying marriage should be a matter of collective reflection.
If the state and society hope that the younger generation will build healthy families, then an environment that supports welfare, equality, and household security must also be realized.
Marriage still has important meaning, but a person's happiness should not be measured solely by relationship status.
Because marriage is not a race about who finds a partner first. Marriage is a decision to build a life together when both parties are truly ready.
And for those who have not or choose not to marry, happiness remains something worth fighting for.
Bibliography
Statistics Indonesia (BPS). (2026). Results of the 2025 Inter-Census Population Survey (SUPAS).
Statistics Indonesia (BPS). (2026). Marriage and Divorce by Province (Events), 2025.
Ministry of Religious Affairs of the Republic of Indonesia. (2025). National marriage registration data through the Marriage Management Information System (SIMKAH).
Supreme Court of the Republic of Indonesia. (2023). Supreme Court Circular Letter Number 2 of 2023 concerning Guidelines for Judges in Adjudicating Cases of Registration Applications for Interfaith Marriages and Beliefs.
Populix. (2023). Indonesian Gen Z & Millennial Marriage Planning & Wedding Preparation.
Sekarsari, F. R. (2025). Stigma on Generation Z women in delaying marriage. Jurnal Ilmiah Muqoddimah: Journal of Social Sciences, Politics, and Humanities, 9(1), 381–388.
Tirta, K. D., & Arifin, S. N. (2025). Phenomenological study: Marriage is scary for Generation Z. TERAPUTIK: Guidance and Counseling Journal, 8(3), 12–20. https://doi.org/10.26539/teraputik.833675
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