JurnalPost.com Someone arrives with serious promises, speaking of the future, commitment, and togetherness. Yet, when opinions diverge, they decide everything on their own without listening to their partner. Is the courage to commit enough to say someone is ready to build a relationship?
This question may seem trivial, but it touches on something fundamental: how we view other human beings. Is our partner treated as an individual with their own thoughts, feelings, and will, or merely as someone expected to follow our desires?
This is where Pancasila becomes relevant. Its values do not stop at rote memorization in schools and universities; they can serve as a basis for reflection in daily life, including in romantic relationships.
Seriousness Is More Than Just the Courage to Commit
Seriousness is often measured by the courage to state intentions or define a status. In reality, true readiness is seen in how one navigates a relationship—whether they are capable of managing their ego, admitting mistakes, and considering their partner's needs.
Wanting to have a relationship is different from being willing to build one; the latter demands consistent communication, responsibility, and respect.
Unilateral decisions might be perceived as decisiveness by the perpetrator, but for the partner, it can feel like their voice is being ignored. Decisiveness is not always synonymous with maturity. A relationship is not an arena to prove who is most powerful, but a space for two different individuals to understand one another.
The Second Precept: Humanizing Those Closest to Us
According to the BPIP, the second precept, 'Just and Civilized Humanity,' relates to moral awareness in how we treat ourselves, others, and our environment.
In a relationship, this means treating a partner as a person of dignity, not as someone who must always agree or give in. Appreciation is shown when we are willing to listen to differing opinions, accept criticism without immediately attacking, and refrain from using emotional closeness to control a partner's choices.
Respect does not mean always agreeing. We may disagree or hold different opinions, provided we do not demean the other person. This value also applies to ourselves. Maintaining personal boundaries is not selfish, and we do not have to constantly sacrifice our own voice to sustain a relationship.
The Fourth Precept: A Relationship Is Not a Space to Win at All Costs
The BPIP explains that the practice of the fourth precept includes not imposing one's will and prioritizing deliberation. While a romantic relationship is not a state institution, its spirit can certainly be applied.
Deliberation here does not mean every decision must satisfy both parties, but rather that there is a process of listening, considering reasons, and finding a fair path forward. If an agreement cannot be reached, each person still has the right to determine their own stance.
Unfortunately, communication often turns into a battle to defend one's ego. Giving in is seen as losing, and apologizing is seen as a loss of self-worth. In reality, the ability to listen signifies maturity—the awareness that our own perspective is not necessarily complete.
Heartbreak as a Space for Reflection
When experiencing heartbreak, it is easy to place all the blame on others. While disappointment is natural, reflection needs to go deeper.
A convincing appearance is not enough to judge someone's readiness. Therefore, pay attention to their behavior, such as how they handle differences, whether they are willing to listen, and whether they respect boundaries.
Similar questions are worth asking ourselves. Have we been honest in expressing our opinions and brave enough to state our boundaries?
This is not about blaming oneself. We cannot always discern a person's character from a brief introduction. Heartbreak does not need to be sought out, but if it happens, it can be an opportunity to clarify the values we want to uphold in our next relationship, without fostering resentment.
Simple Steps
Some things that can be done include listening before responding, communicating openly and as equals, making decisions together wisely, being brave enough to evaluate oneself, and respecting a partner's decisions, including when a relationship must end.
Parting ways honestly and respectfully is more responsible than maintaining a relationship that continues to cause pain.
Pancasila is not a tool to label someone as good or bad based on a single experience, but a guide to evaluate actions and improve oneself.
Closing
Humanizing others means acknowledging that every person has dignity, thoughts, feelings, and the right to make their own choices.
We can disagree without demeaning each other, love without controlling, and part ways without losing respect.
Therefore, the question is not just whether we have memorized the five precepts, but whether we have applied them to the person we love?
Before speaking of humanity on a national scale, we can start with those closest to us—the way we listen to and treat one another.
Author Biography
Diyah Tifani Safitri is a distance learning student in the Islamic Religious Education Study Program at UIN Siber Syekh Nurjati Cirebon. She is interested in issues of education, Pancasila values, and social life, particularly the application of humanitarian values in daily life.
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